You know something's off with JC tonight, he hasn't stopped touching you since you left Chris' room, but you don't really mind so you don't ask what's going on. Right now you're both in the bathroom brushing your teeth, and while you usually wander around the room and strip down to your boxers and tank top for bed you stay still, because JC's left hand is slowly rubbing the skin of your lower back, a back and forth steady pressure that's really quite calming. You love it when he expresses his feelings this way, with caresses and little kisses to your temple or that spot behind your ear. You'd kind of like to know what you did to bring this on, so you can make sure you do it a lot, but if you asked, knowing JC, he'd probably wax poetic about the walls and the lighting and the pretty hotel paintings and tons of other unrelated crap until you dropped the subject.
He finally lets you go so he can rinse out his mouth, so you mimic his movements and let your free hand slip under his shirt to trail across the soft skin there. He jumps a little, not expecting the touch, but he doesn't push you away so you keep your hand there until he stands up straight and turns around. Your hand is splayed across his stomach now and you feel the muscles ripple as he leans forward to kiss the left side of your neck. You lean into the touch and start to slip your hand around his waist, because JC never kisses your neck, or anywhere lower than that, and you definitely want to take advantage of the moment, but he pulls away and slips out of the bathroom before you can stop him.
You rinse out your mouth and put your toothbrush away as quickly as you can, because you know if JC's already in bed when you get into the room he'll just tell you goodnight and go to sleep, and you would really like some more touching, or at least a kiss goodnight. JC is ridiculous about this four and a half year age difference, and you tell him that every day, but he never seems to listen. He won't let you even sit on the edge of his bed when he's about to sleep, let alone lie down with him, and you really don't understand what the big deal is about sleeping in the same bed.
You step out into the room just in time to see JC tying his pajama pants and you hesitate for a moment because that's all he's wearing. No t-shirt, no tank top, and you see his grey boxer-briefs on the floor with his other clothes so you know there's nothing under those pants. You sigh a little, even though you try to hold it back, because if JC was a girl your age you know you'd be getting those pants off tonight as well. You hope JC didn't hear you, and you don't think he did because he continues getting ready for bed, and you cross the room to undress yourself. Your long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans end up in a tangled knot next to your suitcase and you toss your socks in that direction too, then turn to see where JC is. You don't even try to hold back the sigh this time, because he's already in bed, sitting against the headboard and squinting at the same book he's had since the flight over here. You're pretty sure he's still on the same page because you know there hasn't been any time for him to read it.
JC looks up from the book at the small, pathetic noise that escapes your lips and gives you an apologetic smile, then sets the book on the nightstand and holds out a hand. "C'mere, Justin."
You feel your lips curving into a pout, and you try to stop it, really, you do, but you can't help it, it's a natural thing, and you don't really wonder why JC won't even kiss you in the bedroom because you feel like the biggest baby in the world as you walk toward him. He does this sometimes too, pulls you down so he can kiss your cheek, and then ruffles your hair, tells you goodnight, and snuggles down under the covers. It's just not fair to be so close to him and not get anything at all.
"God, Justin, it's not the end of the world. Knock it off," JC says with a small chuckle. You pout even more, because you hate it when he laughs at you, but he just smiles even wider and reaches out to tug on your hand until you're standing right next to the bed. You lean down a little, but instead of kissing your cheek like you expected, JC kisses you right on the lips, then pulls back and says, "Do you want to sit with me for a bit?"
You open your mouth to say yes, yes, of course you do, but what comes out instead is a soft, "I'm really tired, Jayce."
JC looks a little surprised, but he pulls you down until you're sitting, facing him on the bed, and says, "Well, we can lay down if you want." He leans over to kiss you again, and you're shocked that the next words out of his mouth are, "You can sleep over here tonight."
You curl yourself against his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist, and ask in a very soft voice, "Is everything okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean. What..." You trail off and squeeze him a little tighter before continuing. "Are you breaking up with me or something? Is this your way of trying to let me down easy? Being so nice and doing all this stuff and then tomorrow it's over? Cause this is-"
"Justin. Hey," he says in a quiet but confused voice. He makes you pull away until he can see your face, but you don't meet his eyes, you focus on your hand, resting against his well-defined abs, in the same spot it was before, in the bathroom, when JC leaned in to kiss your neck. "Hey, look at me. J."
You try to pull away completely because you want to make it to the bathroom before you do something completely embarrassing, like start to cry or something, but JC tightens his grip on your arm and reaches up his other hand to lift your chin until you're looking into his eyes.
"I'm not breaking up with you, Justin. I promise. Not for a long, long, long, long time. Okay?" You nod a little, because you know that's what he wants, for you to acknowledge that you're listening, to let him know you believe him. You're not sure if you really do, but it's what he wants, so you nod in agreement. "Justin, I'm trying here, okay? I'm really. I want this to work. And I'm just. I'm trying to be okay with this."
"Jayce-" You start to argue with him, you open your mouth to say all the things you usually say, because this isn't the first time you've had this discussion, but JC places a finger against your lips.
"Shh. Justin. Come here." He pulls you into his arms then, into his lap, and you rest your head against his shoulder. His arms wrap around your torso and he lightly kisses your lips again. "I... Justin. You're not even sixteen years old yet. That. I know it doesn't bother you, but it really, I really don't like that. It's a really big difference, and it might not seem like it to you, but it is. And I'm trying to be okay with that, I want to be okay with that. With you. Tonight, this, this is me trying, okay?"
"Okay." You sigh again and wrap your arms around his waist and realize that, yeah, you are pretty tired, and you should probably get some sleep, so you crawl over JC and curl up under the covers.
JC turns off the light and then follows your lead, lying on his side and draping one arm across your waist. He kisses your lips and whispers, "Goodnight, Justin."